Thursday, October 15, 2009

Kanye West and Jamie Foxx: Not as big a deal as they said they were!

Excuse the interruption. I know I promised the first installment of WRONG PORTLAND! as my next blog post, but as it turns out I was inspired. I just can't help but notice that neither Jamie Foxx, nor Kanye West turned out to be as big a deal as they both had originally heralded.

Firstly, Kayne:

OK, Golddigger is a pretty pimp jam and all, and as a slightly emo white kid from an artsy town, I will admit that the whole teddy bear/next level N.E.R.D./tight pants/lazers/sunglasses you would wear to the White Heart presentation of his records was inviting. However, one would have to produce tracks and rap with the power and grace of the Christ-child Himself in order to live up to the hype produced by Kanye.

a) nice pink sweater
b) nice underbite
c) does anyone wish that Fiddy really settled the score the way he REALLY would have preferred?
d) stop trying to "sing"

Jamie Foxx:

Living Color? Kinda funny, sometimes. The Ray Charles movie? A pretty mediocre portrayal of a tortured artist. Ultimately, I'd give the whole movie a C+, even though everyone LOVED it because he did his own singing. You know what? I think Olivia Newton John did her own singing in Xanadu, but I don't see anyone sucking her dick for that. As far as I can see, Jamie Foxx's film career is skipping the bottom like a rock tossed across a pond by an armless sick child, and his singing career was better suited when it was referred to by it's old name: KARAOKE.

PS: That's the top of the microphone dipshit, do you eat from the side of your fork too? Put down the microphone and read the script for Saw 6, or 7, whatever the fuck is next.

Let us look to great actors and musicians who spend their time being awesome by actually producing great work, rather than talking about it (See Tom Petty, Don Cheadle, Javier Bardeem, Q-Tip and Leonard Nimoy.)
PS: j/k/lol/not really/of course I'm kidding/no I'm not/YES I AM/ no, I actually kinda like Leonard Nimoy... a lot/not really/yes/it's hard to type a blog while masterbating to old episodes of Star Trek.



  1. beautiful.
    A round of clapping to .ou, kind sir,

  2. I love Kanye's music, hands down. Even some of his singing stuff, although he can barely sing. Hearing the song "Heartless" live is like being ear-raped.

    But Jamie Foxx just annoys me, he's too much of a narcissist and his only decent song "Blame It" is only successful because he sounds just like T-Pain. Do you know how long it took me to A, realize that Blame It WASN'T by T-Pain and B, after acknowledging it was a Foxx song, realizing that T-Pain is actually FEATURED in the song? You can't even tell the difference between their voices because of the auto-tune.